The perfect weekend. Only Not.

You know how you plan for an entire week a trip with the family that is supposed to be the perfect memory....

The kind that we'll all look back at and remember, and talk about for years to come about how fun and perfect it was?

And then you know how when you plan it that way it never happen?

Yeah that.

This Sunday we went into the mountains, and I had everything planed out perfectly:

Giada would wakeup, we would spend two hrs getting ready, then it would be her nap time, so we would leave and she'll be able to sleep in the car for two hours as we drive to our location, she would wake up and have a grand time with us as we enjoy the small town life.

Ummm.... not so much.

Homegirl here apparently didn't get the memo to my perfectly planned memory making/ weekend getaway.

In fact, she wanted nothing to do with it.

She completely refused to nap in the car, and would much rather scream and hold on to me begging to be taken out of the car seat.

Thank God for the creators of ipad and 'Olivia' who I'm convinced have saved me from (a) rehab and (b) a straight jacket.

On the other hand, after 4hrs of 'Olivia' I feel like (a) I can never watch another one of those episodes in this lifetime, and (b) I never want to see another swine again.

Especially the talking, smart-mouthy ones.

By the time we got to our destination, we were all starving, Giada was a tired, puffy eyed mess in mood for no fun, and my head felt like it has suffered a hammer induced concussion.

Basically the complete opposite of my fairytale, pixy-dust, Cinderella throw-up, kinda memory making day.

My girl than proceeded to be a cranky fest until about 5pm when she lost her battle in about 30 seconds once she was placed in the wagon.

The good part of that day?

We got to see more than 2inches of snow for the first time this winter.

It really was gorgeous out there.

Also? We did make some memories.

Just not the kind we planned on...

But the kind that we'll laugh about... later on. Once my headache leaves me.

Moral of the story?

The best memories are the spontaneous, unplanned ones.

Another moral of the story?

Never in your life plan your perfect weekend around a toddler's schedule.

She will laugh in your face and you will be known as the village's biggest fool

The village being your family.

The end.

Friday Faves

There were only so many days I could survive without a camera, so I nicely borrowed Brandon's for the time being, without any intention of ever returning it. Oh, and don't tell him I said so and we'll still be friends. Mmkei? That being said, I have a LOT of learning to do. But I wanna! I really, REALLY wanna!

Pretty fabric makes me happy. If only the fabric felt the same way about me. But I know there's at least a dozen cotton fields that are cringing and crying any time I come near a spool of this perfectly patterned piece of beauty. "Learn how to sew." One more item added to my long list of incompetencies.

Giada is at this age where she learns something new everyday, and it makes my poor little heart explode with joy when I watch her learn. This week she's made my life a whole lot easier by knowing how to ask for 'food' and 'water'. And you wanna hear the best part? She says it in Romanian! This girl is one smart cookie. Which of course makes me one proud momma right about now, y'all!

She's not much of a cuddler, this kid. She's through and through her daddy's daughter. Which means that whenever I can get some lovin' from her, I take it with open arms and an even more open heart. Then I take a mental picture, hope to God someone is around to take a real picture, and before I know it, my ten, no, five seconds are up, and just like that she's gone.

I love antique stores and malls. To me they bring in the true meaning of 'One man's crap, is another (wo)man's treasure.' My mom says I like stuff that her great-grandma had in her barn once upon a GreatDepression. Which only means that my great-great-grandma had an off the hook barn, and not at all that my taste is total whackness.

But there's just something so goosebumpy about holding with your own two hands a piece of the past. It's the only way to connect with it. The only way to understand a part of it, no matter how small. So say what you will, but to me? That's some cool stuff, yo.

I'm a strong believer in finding time for my cup of coffee, a good magazine, or a favorite show, even when my house is a total disaster. Actually, I could create a cult around it. I can see my momma's blood boiling right as she is done reading those last two sentences, too.

But you know what? I've came to the conclusion that no matter how hard I try, this house will never stay clean for more than 3hrs. Tops. Which means that the mess will be there tomorrow, but my sanity may not. Therefore you've got the cult.

My heart ventricles pump for these two. It's crazy how much joy they can bring into my life. They also bring crazy. But mostly joy.

Finally we'll get to see the mountains and some snow this weekend. Only for a few hours, but hey, I'll take what I can get.

I hope you all have a happy Friday, and a wonderful and cozy weekend wherever you are.

Linking up here today for a few Friday Faves.

Motherhood at it's worst

I'm about to admit something right now...

And after that some of you may look at me differently.

I used to judge other mothers.

Gasp.

Go on, lift your jaw off the floor.

If I'm completely honest I still do from time to time, but let me tell you, my foot has been stuck too far in my mouth one times too many to keep thinking that way very often.

Also, I think that when we start out as new mothers we believe we can do it better than others.

We're a bit of know-it-alls when it comes to the way other people raise their kids.

"My kid would NEVER do that. My kid would NEVER act that way. I would NEVER let that slide."

And yes, sometimes I still say it. And I still believe it.

But at least now I am smart enough to realize that if I haven't been there, I can NEVER say NEVER.

This last week I was just proven how true this is too.

One of my pre-mommyhood pet-peeves was when a child was going all kinds of crazy in a restaurant or a store. The big tantrums at a checkout lane?

I wanted to go over there and shake those kids myself.

Not to mention the ugly "This-lady-really-does-not-have-her-$%^&-together" thoughts that were going through my mind during those moments.

And then I had a kid...

And then this week happened.

See, we were going to the world of Walmart the other day, which is a zoo in itself on a regular basis with no help from people like me.

But before we left, I asked my ever so loving husband to put Giada in the car-seat while I grabbed the rest of her stuff.

Immagine my surprise when I get to the store and pick her up, only to find that the child has no shoes on.

Let's just say the husband was lucky he was not around at that very moment in time.

I just knew nothing good could come from a squirrelly 13month old that would not be aloud to squirrel around to her heart's content.

I should've turned around right then and there...

But I didn't.

Fast forward 1hr, 1/2 a cart full of groceries, a very tired kid and many adventures later, and we have THE craziest kid on the block, who was very well determined to rip my arms right out of my shoulders if it meant getting the heck away from me.

I was at my wits ends by that point, and ready to throw in the towel when karma has finally caught up with my past thoughts and the unthinkable happened.

I gave her a stern "NO" for behaving that way, and without a moment of hesitation the girl slapped me with all her 13month old strength right across the face.

Oh, no she din't.

Only, she DID!

And what's worse, everyone around was just staring at us.

And you know it's gotta be bad when you're given judgmental looks from the people of Walmart, for goodness sakes.

Y'all, I was THAT mom. The one with the crazy kid.

Gulp.

Boy, was I eating all my past words right up at that moment in time.

You know what I've decide? It's easy to judge.

It's easy to stay there and misread a situation while you're in your own cozy world.

It's easy to point fingers and give looks while you don't know the entire story.

You see, most days my girl is a total sweetheart. She really is.

But she was tired, and crabby, and she is not the cuddly type at all.

A free spirit that one.

But if you only saw us during those few moments at the store, I'm sure you may have judged my motherly capabilities too.

Heck, I may have judged myself.

However, I've decided that it doesn't matter what others think.

Motherhood is unpredictable and crazy.

Sometimes it can be embarrassing, and sometimes it can even be maddening.

But it's those moments that remind me of my real purpose as a parent.

To love, to teach, to guide, to protect.

And that's what makes this whole motherhood thing beautiful.

Even at it's hardest.

A Few Things on a Friday

• My camera is in to see the doctor. Actually, it was sent in for a prognosis last week, and they've told me that Canon has to take a look at it since they can't figure it out. That's how sick my baby is. So for now I'm stuck with my iphone pics.

• I was just telling people last mouth how amazing Giada is at staying out of my kitchen cabinets. And then I placed my 7 and 1/2 foot in my mouth. Mercy! Nothing in that kitchen is off limits for her. Taking spoons and forks out is one of her all times favorite past time activities. So is throwing everything in the trash.

• It's safe to say I spend 25% of my day trash picking, and finding all kinds of goodies there. From plates, to baby bottles, to pens, to forks. It's a never ending battle I keep losing.

• My kid hates being still for more than ten seconds at a time. Even when she eats she can't help herself.

• My black hair and I are getting along much better a week later.

• I've been improving my baking skills lately. Or at least trying to. I may have mentioned a time or ten that I'm not the greatest baker out there. But something about my kitchenaid and cute measuring spoons gives me the itch to bake.

• There's something about Sunday mornings that makes me want to go out for breakfast with my little family. I would love to make a tradition out of it, but it would probably suck our bank account dry. So most Sundays? You can find us eating homemade pancakes, eggs and hash browns in our own home. But for this last one, the husband has agreed to go out to Cracker Barrel, and le'me tell you, he did not have to say it twice.

• Speaking of the man... I'm really, really, really trying to make our date nights more of a priority around here. So this week, I've decided that the babysitter is getting booked three and a half weeks in advance. Which means that if all the stars and the moon get aligned juuuust right, we may have a shot at a nice romantic dinner out. Oh, but it's happening baby.

Here's to a great weekend!

Reminiscing on a snowy, winter day

It has finally happened.

It snowed!

First time this year, too.

I could almost hear the mountains around us scream with excitement.

So I did the only logical thing there was to do:

Got Giada,

(Only after I dressed her as the abominable snowman),

And my little bro, and went out there to enjoy mother nature.

First snow always reminds me of the good times in my childhood.

All the neighborhood kids would bundle up, take their wood-made sleighs, some new, but most passed down from our parents, and run for the hills.

The longest, most steep one we could find.

We used to hang out together for hours.

Our faces were frozen from all the snow and crisp air.

But we never cared. We were happy. Like only kids can be.

Sometimes it would get really dark before the thought of going home crossed our minds.

And none of our parents or grandparents ever worried about us.

Those were the days, I tell you.

And then we would go home, and warm up our almost frostbitten little toes next to the wood stove, drinking hot mint tea with buttered toast and homemade fruit jam.

If we had power, we would watch a movie.

However, more often than not, the electricity was out at night during the winter months, so we would play cards, tell stories, and laugh by the fire or under the light of a well used oil lamp.

Yes, even though it seems like centuries ago, I have truly lived that life.

It was simple, but yet, so wonderful and always full of laughter.

I always wish my daughter would grow up knowing that feeling.

Of safety, of belonging, of pure, undeniable happiness.

I want her to find meaning in the little things...

Know how to find the real joy in life.

I want to make memories with her like the ones I had on those winter days.

The kind that really matter.

The kind that would build on her character long before she realizes it, just like it did with me.

The kind that last a lifetime.

Wordless Wednesday...kinda: Kids are like puppies

Here are some words from the wise.

The wise being yours truly.

Kids are like puppies.

They follow you around everywhere, beg you for treats, poop on your carpet (don't judge! It only happened ONCE), eat nasty things from the trash...

AND?

Learn new tricks.

Here's the latest one for us.

Fetch.

(Never you mind the mess and my newly built entertainment center that has no doors... yet. Well it does, but they're not painted...yet. You get the point).

Next up, I'll teach her how to get me food and snacks while I'm on the couch watching tv.

Mommas, do yourselves a favor and do the same.

'Cause life is too short not to take advantage of your kids ;-)

Her Story: Rachel

Hello there peeps.

I'm so happy to introduce you to Rachel today.

This lucky lady lives across the pond in Wales, UK, and I am beyond jealous of all the history and beauty she gets to see and breathe in on a daily basis.

But today she's here to share with you her story.

One that I'm sure we all can relate to either once in a while or on a daily basis;

In a small scale or big... you'll be able to see a part of yourself in her story.

Enjoy.

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Hi there! My name is Rachel. I'm 25, I'm married to a fantastic man called Josh and I live in Wales, UK. I'm a Christian, and amongst many things I love photography, cooking, blogging, entertaining and the countryside.

Ever since I saw that Tatiana was doing a series on different women's stories this post has been in my mind.

You see, I really struggle with anxiety.

I think it's probably quite a common problem amongst us women, but sometimes we live with it for so long that we forget what it's like to live without it. We act in certain ways not even realising that it's anxiety that is at the root of our behaviour.

'What will people think of me if I do this?', 'I bet she thinks I'm really ugly', 'How will I pay my bills if I don't have a job?', 'Will I be able to have children?' are all thoughts {amongst many others!} that swirl around in my mind and if unchecked can drag me down into a mire of stomach churning worry.

In fact one of the first things I said in my email to Tatiana about this post was 'my blog is really small and I am probably not a good enough writer to do a guest post but...'

Why do I do that? Who told me I'm not good enough?! No-one has ever told me that - in fact people compliment me on my blog so why do I constantly worry what people think of me?

This post isn't going to be a story of how I completely turned my life around and how I never feel anxious anymore. Instead it's simply a story of how God spoke to me about my anxious thoughts and how it profoundly changed my attitudes and habits.

I'll start at the beginning and try to make it short!

Up until a few months ago I worked in a church office. We often had homeless people seeking shelter in the church and last year we had one man who became quite a regular. He had long black hair, a straggly beard and dressed in ragged clothes. He obviously had a mental illness and although he would never admit it I think that's why he was out on the streets. He formed a bit of an attachment to me and often used to stand just staring at me for minutes at a time. We tried to be as welcoming and loving as possible but to be honest sometimes he was just plain creepy.

I started having nightmares about him, and even though he'd never been threatening or aggressive I really started worrying about what he might do to me.

It was also around that time that I began to acknowledge that anxiety was a problem for me. I realised that at any given time in the day I would physically feel anxious or nervous. I couldn't even put my finger on why. It was as if my mind knew there was nothing to be anxious about but my body felt tense and stressed. I started praying about this with my mentor at church, that God would change my attitudes and help me to trust him more.

One night, a few weeks later I woke up with a start. In my dream I had turned around and the homeless man had been staring at me and I knew he was there with bad intent. I lay in bed half asleep and started thinking about all the bad things that could happen to me when I was in church on my own. It's surprising what you can convince yourself is possible at three o'clock in the morning!

Suddenly I jerked awake as if a bucket of water had been thrown in my face and I heard God say clearly to me

"Why do you think you feel anxious all the time if this is what you fill your mind with?"

I knew God had spoken but I quickly fell back to sleep.

The next day I decided to listen to a sermon online and the next one on my list was on Philippians 4: 4-9. I didn't know what the passage was off the top of my head but the verses quickly jumped out at me.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”

I know both of these verses but I never actually realised that they were written together. It was God again reminding me of the point he had made to me the night before. When I feel anxious I need to be giving everything to God and trusting that he will sort out the situation for his good.
But more than that… I need to be constantly filling my mind with what is pure, lovely, praiseworthy, excellent and admirable, not dwelling on the things that scare and worry me. I think in theory I was trusting God, but I was still keeping a little bit of the stress on myself so I could prepare myself for worst-case scenarios. However, I can never truly have the peace of God if that’s what I’m filling my mind with.

It seems like such a simple thing but it was so profound to me. God had answered my prayer and actually spoke directly into my problem! He loves us that much that he cares about both the small and the big problems in our lives...and nothing is too huge for God to sort out.

If you struggle with anxiety or worry I would really encourage you to give your problems to God, but also to focus on the positives - not the negatives- in your life.

Make a list of the little things that bring you joy at the moment
Record when God speaks to you or answers a prayer
Read about God's faithfulness in the bible, in biographies or on the web and spend some time praising him for his goodness

I'm not a psychologist and I know many people have anxiety problems that are much worse than mine and need professional help. I'm simply sharing my story with you in the knowledge that focussing on the positives has often helped me curb my anxiety when my thoughts are getting negative and unhelpful.
God loves me and he loves you. He created us to be US. Sure, there are times when we need to work on our attitudes and actions but God promises to love us and care for us. He's got a good plan for YOU.

Start believing it!

There are so many things I wanted to say in this post but it's already way too long! If you want to talk to me or challenge me about anything I've written then please don't hesitate to contact me. I would love to hear from you! I blog over at www.vicarswifeintraining.blogspot.com.
Thanks so much to Tatiana for giving me the opportunity to share my story today!

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PS: If YOU would like to share your story that would inspire, move and help other women, shoot me an email at myblog.tatiana@gmail.com. I would love to have you.

I'm embracing the camera and going to the dark side

Well, hello there world.

Notice anything different since the last time we've seen one another?

If your name is, cough, Myhusband, cough..

Your answer will be 'Umm...no.'

I swear the man wouldn't notice a change unless I would have a burrito glued to my forehead.

But if you're a woman, you may have already noticed that I have gone to the dark side...

Or maybe my hair did.

It was on my bucket list.

You know, get my hair did all black and look like some Spanish hottie.

I guess I got the 'getting my hair did all black' part out of the way.

One step at a time.

'Nway. Not sure how to feel about it.

Sans makeup, I look like I'm Casper the friendly ghost's twin.

Kinda the opposite of what I was going for since we all know he was no Spanish hottie.

That's a lot for a girl to take in...

But with a lil face touchup, I think it's something I can sport for a while.

And now lets get to the part where I embrace the camera, or really my computer, so I can get some craptacular pics of some great moments.

Out of the two, it's the moments that matter most.

Let me summarize it for you:

I love this kid.

The End.

Oh, and I'm so happy and proud to be her momma.

Now, The End.

Linking up with the other mommas who're embracing the camera here.

Her Story: Sara Cate

Women never stop to astonish me.

Their determination, their courage, their beauty, their faith, the way they love and take care of their family.

The way they fight for their lives.

I've got to admit it.

We're pretty amazing.

When Sara Cate has told me that she would like to share her story I was stoked.

The entire time I was reading it, I was thinking of how much bravery it must have taken on her part to keep her head up high and never stop fighting this life changing battle.

Sara's story is inspiring, heartbreaking, raw, honest, and full of tenacity.

Thank you for your words of courage and wisdom, Sara Cate.

I'm so honored by your presence.

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Thank you, Tatiana, for sharing the HerStory series of strength, inspiration, and beauty. I am honored to be a part of this experience.

It was August of 2009. After baking three cakes for my aunt’s birthday, we sat down to play a game of 313, a card game, with 10 people. This makes the game last forever. I has just seen the movie Julie and Julia that day and was practicing Julia Child’s advice to "breast your cards." It was then that I noticed my right collar bone didn't feel like my left. I figured it was my posture, but I said something in passing at the enormous card table. After my comment, my boyfriend “Dashing” (my now husband and a physician) and his father (a physician) froze and asked to feel what I was talking about. I, oblivious to what was going on said, "yeah, feel my bone right here." I kept drinking my glass of wine and was determined to finish the game with a win. Dashing and his father somehow slipped out of the game, and 15 minutes later I found them in the laundry room having a secret pow-wow….odd, but whatever.

The next day started with an early morning phone call from my in-laws, calming telling me he had scheduled a noon appointment for me to see my primary care physician and that they would meet me there. I was no longer calm.

By that evening, I had been scanned, poked, and diagnosed with cancer – Stage 2 Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, cancer of the lymph nodes.

I sat in the doctor’s office with my in-laws, crying, hyperventilating, unable to even answer the basic of questions. My tongue was numb from my rapid breathing and my face drenched with salty tears. My mother-in-law was hugging me, rubbing my back, providing as much comfort as possible as my father-in-law physician spoke with my doctor in medical terms about the 10 cm and 7cm masses in my chest. My in-laws then had to make the call to their son, my Dashing (he was in medical school, and was on a long shift that day) and my father (who lives across the country). I cannot imagine what that call must have been like for either of them.

At the age of 25, this surprise diagnosis rocked all of our worlds. Within the week, I had surgery, saw specialists for oncology, radiation oncology, and fertility preservation, and immediately started treatment. Seven months of ABVD chemotherapy and extensive radiation treatments was accompanied by fragility, lethargy, and hair loss. With the support of my family and friends and through faith and many prayers, I was able to somehow move one foot in front of the other and press on with a positive outlook on life.

I finished my cancer treatments in the spring of 2010, and in the same year, I got married AND ran a 1/2 marathon to benefit my cancer center.

I am now in a semi-remission state from my Hodgkin's Lymphoma, but I stand to face the potential long term side-effects of the increased risk of secondary cancers including breast, skin, and thyroid cancer. This battle will never completely be over, so it's all about my outlook on life and how I live it. I have many emotional and physical scars from my experience. However, I pray the scars of the lessons I learned during this time in my life never fade.

These are the scars I have been blessed with and am proud to carry with me.

1. Life, looks, and health can change any and every moment that passes. Embrace your life with hope, strength, determination, and passion and you will come out of it a better person. Don’t let life just happen to you. Choose what and where you want to be, choose to do things you are passionate about.

2. It is ok to need help. It’s others way of showing how much they love and care for you. It is not a weakness, but a strength. To let others love you is to love yourself.

3. There is kindness in humanity. Make sure you are a part of it every day. Smile at someone, hold open a door, give a hug – it may be the best part of the other person’s day . You never know what someone else is going through, and I promise, it will brighten your day too.

4. Be thankful for all those around you. They are the ones who will stand next to you in the happy times and hold you up during the bad times. Put time and effort into the ones that matter. Your significant other should be there for you through thick and this as your best friend and strongest supporter. The happy times are easy to be happy in, but it is the challenging times that can strengthen the relationship more than you ever would imagine. Be sure they know how much they mean to you every day.

Sincerely,

Sara Cate

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PS: If YOU would like to share your story that would inspire, move and help other women, shoot me an email at myblog.tatiana@gmail.com. I would love to have you.

My doable resolutions

Knock, Knock...

Ummm.... Is this thing on?

Hello?.... Hello... Hello... Helloooo

Those last three were the echo by the way.

So go back and read it the right way.

Y'all still with me?

Well then...

"Happy New Year!"

...Nine days later.

So....I can't help but feel like I own an explanation for my absence.

I would blame it on the alcohol...

But since I don't drink, I'll blame it on the "Hunger Game" series.

Which I finished in less than one week.

T'was good.

Real? Or Not Real?

Real.

(Inside 'Hunger Game' joke)

And on the fact that I always need a vacation after a vacation.

If you don't understand that last sentence, then you're the weird one.

Did you know there's a lot of work to catch up on after the holidays?

'Cause there is! A LOT!

The important thing is that I'm here now.

To stay.

And to talk about resolutions.

And how I can't stick to them for more than a couple of weeks, if my life depended on it.

So what's the point of making them, right?

Right.

This is why I'm aiming low and going easy on my expectations, and see where that shall take me.

So this year...

I hope to be less clumsy.

And not do things such as walk into walls, doors, or fall into the bathtub fully dressed while I give my daughter a bath.

Find some snow in this globally warmed forsaken place and share some kisses...

Get my toes painted.

Oh, that's right.

Aiming too high again...

Relax and drink more.

Water that is.

Eat lots of delicious food.

Spend many sunny days with my most favorite gal...

And let my toes enjoy a sandy beach.

Don't forget to have fun in between the crazy moments.

And...

Make sure my family knows how much I love them.

Oh. And last but not least.

Let God's love shine in this 'ol heart of mine.

Pretty doable list even for a non-resolutionist like me, wouldn't you say?

Here goes nothing.

Linking up with Carissa to Miscellany Monday