I've got a pretty fabulous lady sharing her story today.
This sweet thing? She can be any girl's best friend.
And I love that about her welcoming and loving personality.
Also, her humble attitude and love for Jesus makes me want to be a better person.
Get to know her. You won't regret it.
Say 'Hello' to Megan.
Hi there, y'all! My name is Megan and I write about life over at Mackey Madness.
picture via Brandon O'Neal Photography
When Tatiana asked me to guest post for her beautiful series on women, I was SO honored...and a little (or a lot) nervous, too! Sometimes it's hard to admit things that we did wrong or mistakes that we made in life, but it's so good to share with others sometimes so that we can help them, gain support, and move forward.
The story that I'm sharing today starts in college. I went to a Christian college and I didn't drink or party. Right off the bat, I met a guy. Isn't that how most stories start? ; ) He was super athletic, sarcastic, cute, and really sweet...and I was a freshman in college and I fell fast and hard. We dated our entire first year of college and things were great. Until the day that I found out that he had been lying to me the whole time and partying and drinking behind my back.
I was devastated and we broke up. I told him that we were done, but he cried, apologized, and blubbered enough that I gave him another chance. He promised to change. And I believed him. As we continued to date, I really thought that he had changed. I prayed about our relationship constantly and asked God to take my feelings for him away if we weren't supposed to be together. I would hear rumors here and there about things that he was doing when we weren't together. Sometimes they were bad enough to make me break up with him, sometimes I just ignored them. I told myself that we could make it work because he never cheated on me, just lied about drinking, etc. Sometimes I felt God telling me that we weren't meant to be together, but I ignored it.
We continued to date for the next 3 years. We had too many dramatic breakups to count, yet we never dated anyone else. We always got right back together. After so many years together, I couldn't imagine a future without him, regardless of the things that he was doing. He told me that I would never find anyone that would love me as much as he did...and I believed him. I believed that he loved me. I believed that "one day he would change." I still prayed about our relationship, but my prayers had changed. I prayed that he would grow to know the Lord, but I prayed it selfishly so that we could stay together, not for his heart and salvation.
I graduated college a year before him (because he got suspended for drinking, which wasn't allowed on our Christian college campus) and moved about two hours away to start my nursing career. We continued to date his final year at college. Being away from him and having a lot of time to myself, I began to see that the things that he had once kept secret from me were now done right in front of me. Instead of me changing him for the better, he had begun to change me for the worse. My standards had dropped. He lived and breathed things that I was totally against, yet I stayed with him because I loved him. I started to realize that we couldn't have a future together unless I was willing to accept what he was doing...and I couldn't.
After 5 years of dating, I ended things. It was the hardest thing that I've ever done. I cried. He cried. He begged me for just one more chance. He promised me that things would be different, but this time I didn't believe him. I clung to the Lord and got stronger, day by day. Looking back, I can't believe that I thought we were so "happy" through all of the drama, tears, lies, and hurt. I see now how shallow and selfish his love for me was...someone who truly loved me would never knowingly lie to me and hurt me time and time again.
The hardest part for me to accept was how quickly I had let a guy become my leading man, taking the place of God. I did a lot of soul searching after that. I'm happy to report that I am now happily married to an amazing, Godly man...and this relationship is stable, and good, and honest, and happy. And God is the head of it.
Picture via Brandon O'Neal Photography
Thanks so much for having me, Tatiana! I hope that someone out there can relate to this or can learn from it.
Aren't her and her husband the cutest thing?
So glad they ended up together!
Thank you so much for opening your heart today Megan.
I think so many of us have met "Mr. Wrong" along the way and will be able to relate to this.
And ladies... If it feels wrong. Get out.